Thursday, February 10, 2011

All in a trip to the parents -

Written on Friday, September 4, 2009 at 8:40pm

As I drove to mom and dad's today I ran into two awesome examples of contradiction. Made me laugh out loud.

The first was in a little mom and pop gas station somewhere in PA. I knew I was going to find something interesting/nauseating when I saw the restroom sign handwritten on a dirty piece of paper taped to the "Employees Only" door (that in itself didn't make sense.) But the note and urge to pee made me disregard the employees only sign and walk into the back room. To the left was a video monitor on a small desk with a chair in front like someone should be watching. There were soda crates stacked up and holes in the dry wall. At this point I was thinking, "Thank the Lord I'm a dude because this is gonna be nasty!" Taped to one of the crates was another bathroom sign with an arrow indicating that the bathroom was right around the corner; it even had the arrow in a scribbled out L- shape. Whoever drew it was not gifted in the art of drawing lines. As I entered, all my expectations were met; everything was dirty and carried a film. A stale pee smell lingered and the floor was a bit greasy. Did my business and turned to wash my hands- I needed to take a shower but disinfecting my hands was the best I could do at the moment. As I stood over the sink and reached to turn the water on, my hands froze. I couldn't move- There, inside the clear plastic water knob was a tumor of sorts; really inexplicable in its nature. I'm guessing it was a massive chunk of mold sealed oh so perfectly in the faucet. That was the first contradiction ; ) But I proceeded to wash my hands, dry heaving the whole time.

Second- I was following my parents home after our dinner. Just off the small country road, about 4 miles from their house is this old, dingy bar that's been there for years and years. Looks pretty small town innocent but then you see on the signage, "Live nude dancing between 1-6 pm" or something like that. First thought is, I bet those are some lookers gettin' down in there but that's besides the point. What made me really laugh was that right under the sign for nude dancing is a clothes and shoes drop for the Goodwill! Awesome- I wonder if any of the dancers have grabbed something after their afternoon shift?

The small things in life ; )

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