Thursday, February 10, 2011

You get what you pay for ; )

Written on Sunday, May 16, 2010 at 3:43pm

Out at Chipotle, as I was finshing up a chicken fajita burrito, my wife says, "So we have an appointment at 1 p.m. to get a massage. Surprise!" She goes on to explain that it's at a massage school so we'll have students working on us. Doesn't matter to me- never had a bad massage even from a novice.

Natalie, thinking there's only one school in Vienna (but never checked to verify) points me in the direction and off we go. Get to the place and it looks a bit sketchy- we enter a pretty obscure door and walk up some carpeted stairs that have seen better days. There's a combination of smells- a lively blend of hospital, salon, and non-descrip asian food. To my right, on the wall is posted an ad for all people wanting to enter as contestants for "National Ms. Korea." Nice! As we move down the hall, we pass a room full of students in caps and gowns. This isn't feeling right- two guys run into us and ask if we're here for the graduation. We say no and that we're here for the massage. He says, "Well, we can do a facial massage at 2 p.m. Would you like to join us for lunch before graduation?" Huh- very inviting guy. We try to explain that we're here for a normal massage and he replies that they don't do that there. He cracks a smile and says the lady must have misunderstood Nat on the phone. I was thinking the very same thing but felt better that he said it because he was Asian.

We left- Nat was convinced she had made an appt. to get a full body massage; not a facial. Thanks to Mr. Blackberry, we found out that there was yet another school a couple miles away. Off we went!

Got there a few minutes past our scheduled time- this place looked a bit "used" but seemed more like a massage school. A very tall and . . . u hhh . . . Russian lady of healthy weight welcomed us. Classic! We sat. She asked, "Which you come with me for massage?", in a thick accent. Nat and I looked at each other- awkward moment passed. I broke it and offered to go.

We went in the room. The decor was an afterthought but I reminded myself that this was a school. She explained what she was going to do. As I was left standing in the room, waiting to dis clothe, my eyes searched the massage table sheets. I like to feel like I'll be laying in clean sheets when in public areas. These sheets had oil stains all over them- I slid under hesitantly and closed my eyes. Here goes nothing!

All the while Nat had a rookie and the instructor at the school working on her. The pupil wasn't much for learning though. Numerous times she told her instructor that she didn't want to mimic his moments after he asked her to. She said that she'd incorporate them into her OWN style. Didn't know you had your own style when first learning something. Right from the get go she says loudly to Nat, "Girl, you've got some rough feet! Gotta take care of those-" That's the way to loosen a stranger up before you rub 'em down. Insults work wonders to calm the nerves! As she moved her way to Nat's back she paused again and said, "Girl, you've got a black head on your back. Want me to take care of it?" What? How do you even respond to that. Just before she turned the massage into a zit popping session, her cell phone rang at full blast! Her reaction; answer the call and leave the room. Ha- She comes back in and continues to not follow the lead of her instructor; all in a voice meant for a bar, not a massage room. To make things even more relaxing, Natalie's head rest falls 3 times leaving Natalie's neck oh so relaxed. Unexpected collapse is the ultimate muscle relaxer- try it sometime! To cap it off, her phone rings full volume for a second time and she leaves.

Back in my room, I'm just waiting for Elena (that was her name) to inflict serious pain. She didn't. Her hands were completely relaxing and professional while my wife was suffering in the lab next door.

No comments:

Post a Comment