Written on Tuesday, December 15, 2009 at 10:46am
The coffee shop diaries continue . . .
A certain customer that we'll call Mr. T comes in frequently. Big, loud guy that demands attention. I've run into few guys that are as . . ummm . . . overwhelming as he is. He doesn't know the meaning of "small voice" and usually mixes in some colorful language and discussion when he's here. I've had to give him the "tone it down a bit" gesture a few times. He often comes in midday when there aren't many other people in the shop. He loves (in a not-so-good-way) women and often gawks at the passerby's while he sips on his white choc. mocha.
Yesterday he came in with one of his business partners. Par for course, the conversation went to women. I always try to interject with the positives of being married and fidelity. He often agrees, surprisingly, with what I'm saying but you'd never know it by the way he continues to spout off comments. So as we were talking yesterday they asked me what was on my mind. I answered that it troubled me that infidelity was so prevalent in society. I talked about different situations I've known about and how I wish they could have been handled/ended better. Mr. T. said his wife was the best and that he'd never leave her. There was sincerity in his voice. This is a man that is fighting with inner demons for sure! (But that's another blog.) His friend piped in that he felt that the institution of marriage no longer "worked" in our society. He went on to say that in an agrarian society it was much more important to keep a strong family structure for survival. Man and wife raised a family and stayed together because they all needed to work the fields and do their part for the survival of the whole. But life is too easy now he said. We just don't need each other to the extent we did before, therefore, people cheat on each other simply because they can. Their life isn't at stake. The only negative is temporary emotional pain but that's it. So he concluded that marriage should be thought of as ritual but nothing more.
Of course people came in as soon as he finished so our conversation ended . . . for now! As he was walking out he said, "We'll continue this!" Absolutely-
But let me say that argument doesn't work at a fundamental level. I know I often say that but its true. Whether you believe in biblical principles or not, if the family unit breaks down in a society so goes the structure of society itself. Look at the inner cities as an example; the main reason for the crime and poverty in those areas, according to the experts, is a lack of a father figure in the families. Yes there are many other contributing factors but most agree that it all stems from the lack of strong traditional families. So to for society as a whole. If we devalue the institution of marriage because its not "applicable" or necessary for survival now, we will pay sooner rather than later! I believe that with all my heart.
If kids aren't shown what it is to love, sacrifice, and be committed by their parents, they miss developing that "piece" of themselves. And that piece doesn't just affect our relationships. It affects all of our "transactions" in society as a whole; you could even call it the "societal cornerstone". We aren't all independent from each other. Society, if it is to function properly and in a sustaining manner, needs to be built on interdependent relationships that have a deep level of trust and commitment . . . STARTING IN THE HOME!
But I guess I should be saving all this for when this discussion continues with my regulars ; )
A certain customer that we'll call Mr. T comes in frequently. Big, loud guy that demands attention. I've run into few guys that are as . . ummm . . . overwhelming as he is. He doesn't know the meaning of "small voice" and usually mixes in some colorful language and discussion when he's here. I've had to give him the "tone it down a bit" gesture a few times. He often comes in midday when there aren't many other people in the shop. He loves (in a not-so-good-way) women and often gawks at the passerby's while he sips on his white choc. mocha.
Yesterday he came in with one of his business partners. Par for course, the conversation went to women. I always try to interject with the positives of being married and fidelity. He often agrees, surprisingly, with what I'm saying but you'd never know it by the way he continues to spout off comments. So as we were talking yesterday they asked me what was on my mind. I answered that it troubled me that infidelity was so prevalent in society. I talked about different situations I've known about and how I wish they could have been handled/ended better. Mr. T. said his wife was the best and that he'd never leave her. There was sincerity in his voice. This is a man that is fighting with inner demons for sure! (But that's another blog.) His friend piped in that he felt that the institution of marriage no longer "worked" in our society. He went on to say that in an agrarian society it was much more important to keep a strong family structure for survival. Man and wife raised a family and stayed together because they all needed to work the fields and do their part for the survival of the whole. But life is too easy now he said. We just don't need each other to the extent we did before, therefore, people cheat on each other simply because they can. Their life isn't at stake. The only negative is temporary emotional pain but that's it. So he concluded that marriage should be thought of as ritual but nothing more.
Of course people came in as soon as he finished so our conversation ended . . . for now! As he was walking out he said, "We'll continue this!" Absolutely-
But let me say that argument doesn't work at a fundamental level. I know I often say that but its true. Whether you believe in biblical principles or not, if the family unit breaks down in a society so goes the structure of society itself. Look at the inner cities as an example; the main reason for the crime and poverty in those areas, according to the experts, is a lack of a father figure in the families. Yes there are many other contributing factors but most agree that it all stems from the lack of strong traditional families. So to for society as a whole. If we devalue the institution of marriage because its not "applicable" or necessary for survival now, we will pay sooner rather than later! I believe that with all my heart.
If kids aren't shown what it is to love, sacrifice, and be committed by their parents, they miss developing that "piece" of themselves. And that piece doesn't just affect our relationships. It affects all of our "transactions" in society as a whole; you could even call it the "societal cornerstone". We aren't all independent from each other. Society, if it is to function properly and in a sustaining manner, needs to be built on interdependent relationships that have a deep level of trust and commitment . . . STARTING IN THE HOME!
But I guess I should be saving all this for when this discussion continues with my regulars ; )
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